Stereotypes

Photo Credit: MyTudut via Compfight cc

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As a mom, I’ve been involved in many conversations about children. Sometimes they’ve been about weird or wacky antics (and boy do I have a few of those stories, many with pictures that may come in handy later!), or the latest virus making the rounds and its (ahem) symptoms. And, occasionally, the topic turns to only children. I usually just listen quietly, and it doesn’t take long until the familiar stereotypes pop up–self-centered, spoiled, unpleasant–or someones expresses the idea that being or having an only child is less than ideal. It’s always an awkward moment for me, being an only child myself. Do I say something and risk embarrassing them? Or do I keep silent and let them continue to hold their opinion? Each time I’ve chosen to speak up they’ve always said something like, “Oh, I never would have known you were an only child!”

I suppose I should be flattered, and it makes me feel good to bust the only child myth, but it got me thinking about other kinds of stereotypes. Especially ones about followers of Jesus. We’re often labeled as judgmental, hypocritical, exclusive, or elitist. While I know so many Christians who don’t fit that description at all, as a whole, our society has chosen those labels to define us. And sometimes, as followers of Jesus, we give credence to their labels with unthoughtful responses.

I was listening to a local Christian radio station the other day and the DJ was relating a story about a woman he had seen (or more accurately, heard) recently in a store. The woman was using some very colorful language, and there were lots of children around, prompting the DJ to express his disdain for her behavior over the airwaves. I know the DJ didn’t intend it to come across this way, but his comments smacked of judgment. Do I want my children exposed to an expletive-ridden tirade? No. But is it right for me to expect someone who is not a follower of Jesus to act like they are, and to cast judgment on them when they don’t? Jesus calls us to love people. And he draws people to himself through kindness.  Let’s start busting some stereotypes by letting God’s love and kindness shine through us.  Let’s surprise them when we don’t fit their stereotypes! 🙂

Confessions of an Imperfect Christian–2nd Installment

Judgment=thinking I’m “way better” (corny, I know!  But I couldn’t resist, and these chips are good)

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Confession #2:

I am judgmental.  In my last confession I confessed that I can be a real hypocrite, but that I started viewing others with more grace when I finally realized the depth of my own sin and the true condition of my heart.

Unfortunately, that newfound grace did not translate very well to people within the church.  People who, from the outside looking in, seemed to be the “perfect” Christians (whatever that means).  I saw them every week, rushing to the Bible class they taught, or the small group they led, and I felt the weight of unspoken expectations and questions of why I wasn’t “involved” fall on my shoulders, and I judged them for judging me.  Whether the judgment I felt was real or perceived, who knows?  And it’s not really the point.  The point is I had traded one judgmental attitude for another!  In turning off my judgment of fellow sinners, I found a new, more zealous judgment for people who were followers of Jesus.

The thing is, judgment is like kidney stones.  They’re pretty easy to pass, but painful for everyone involved.  And once they’ve been in your system, it’s really hard to keep them from coming back.  I thought I had conquered my judgmental thoughts, only to have them boomerang back with a new target.

It was an ugly attitude that ultimately led to a season of isolation and loneliness, because everyone was “too judgey” to befriend.  I look back now and realize I was the  judgmental one.  Once I got to know those people, I realized they hadn’t been judging me at all, and it was my own perceptions and judgments that had gotten in the way.  Again!

Now…about all of you Christians who have all the answers, don’t get me started!  🙂  Just kidding!

Have you ever felt judged by someone–and responded with judgement?  Did it turn out well?